To him / Poem by Nutan Sarawagi

Poem by Nutan Sarawagi
 
 
To him
 
This is a triology a three part poem addressed to my father as he lay in the hospital fighting for his life
 
 
My dad gave me the biggest smile
 
When he saw me in the ICU today
my dad gave me the biggest smile
lighting up the room
lighting up my day
now he lies tired
asleep
will he wake up
to smile to another day
I wait for that day with bated breath
waiting for that smile to comeback
to rise from his bed
to greet me
as he did just that very day
melt my heart in the same way
as my heart awaits his smile
beating me to that smile
as my heart with his heart
beats
matching his smile to my every heartbeat
in my heart I picture that smile
picturing him with his heart
smiling his smile on that very day
God please give me my dad back
for I cant imagine another day without him
waiting for that day waiting for him to smile that special smile
just like he did on that day
 
 
An ode to my father
 
such a strong Man
lying so helpless
reduced to the last rungs of life
fiighting for his life as no man can
wish I could give him my life
In panic
as he outstretches his hand
to stretch out his life
but life shows no remorse
little realising that he was their life
in taking his life
they take away life
life which was to be loved
now lying dead before their eyes
if this life
then I fear death
for giving its meaning to life
take away deatth
and there is no meaning left to life
life lies dead in finding its own meaning to life
I hate death for what it means
for in death lies the meaning of life
without death there is no life
life and death are both meanings of life
without one the other cannot survive
in death lies life life without death is no life
 
give me death for in my death lies my life
in my death lies my fathers life
I wont let you take me away from him
for in my life
lies his life
 
 
They finally took him away from me
 
There is this whole process of dying
nobody is crying
as the doctors push the tube
through every part of his body
he is dying
he cringes in defeat
his life in death retreats
dont hurt him more
my heart cries
havent you done enough damage in your hope to bring him alive
as the syringes enter his body
to make him numb dull his senses
put him to sleep lessen his agony
as he sleeps wake up daddy
dont go to sleep fight the pain
dont accept defeat
you have to survive to prove us right
put the doctors to shame
till their heads hang in shame
show them your will to survive
as they pronounce you dead
in your death they want to thrive
dont let them get the better of you
dont let the monsters of death invade you
as they poke you and prod your heart
in the hope to revive your heart
make your beat fast
please stop all these invasions
invading into his body
stop intruding
let him die in peace
undisturbed finally
he finally looks in peace.
 
Copyright: Nutan Sarawagi ( 2014)
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