CONFUSE ABOUT LOVE / Poem by Membis Okorie Chukwukamma

Poem by Membis Okorie Chukwukamma



Sometimes like now it is just too hard to love
Yet I am trying to place it above burning stove
Yes, sometimes like now it is too hard to trust
Gave all till first love left innocent heart to rust
Yet I am trying more and more day by day
And in every little way I can my dear lady
I am taking the risk of trading my heart again
Believing you would not pay with same pain

I have had my emerald emotions butchered
Unintentionally, I watched my soul tear apart
I know I am not first and will never be the last
But who wants to repeat a mistake once made?
Who wants to feel furious flames with all fingers
Or listen to grave’s horrific midnight whispers?

I do not in any way doubt your noble affection
Maybe I am just being scared of hustling passion
Trying to hide from what I deeply seek in creek
Before I choose to overdose or poison my drink

I see all colours of the rainbow in your eyes
My favorite song sounds like your cute voice
But I hope you understand why I feel so still
Maybe bring medicinal kisses to help me heal

So many girls around but I love none of them
Something is wrong with me said one of them
How did I escaped my hell to get back into it?
Even my saintly soul can feel the melting heat
I am so confuse about love, it sounds too fake
You didn’t love me then, why now? Mistake?

It seems I want to have two kids but not a wife
I know they need both love to help them survive
How do I trust again after such great betrayal
From the only person I considered to be loyal?

I know this is not the future I long prayed for
Lost everything to find my way back to God
Now I have everything but a heart to love
Where is the one to make me feel normal?

I do not want to be careless with your love
But the one I held so tight gently slipped away
Been years but the wound hurts like yesterday
How can I even know for you I am enough?

I don’t want to cheat on you but there’s a girl
Not just her, there are three or more of them
Can’t tell how I got into all these entanglements
But I know I am not being the man of my dream

If all these were not mine would they be mine?
Everything I thought were real ended up fake
I don’t want to hurt anyone I hope they be fine
Can I live my life simply without another mistake?

It hurts to love wrongly, what does the future hold?
Who ever it might be, just don’t want it to ever end
I’m sorry, it’s difficult to choose one from many
How much do you love, diamond or just a penny?

(c) Membis Okorie Chukwukamma

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