An Untold Story / Poem by Ana Toma

 
Poem by Ana Toma
 
 
An Untold Story
 
I identify myself as a mother, first,
Then along run all other great qualities.
I’m one of the four sweetest souls
around these pale white walls.
I can’t repaint them without the landlord’s
written permission.
In my wild imagination,
this is the mansion of my fugitive dreams:
Beyond the shadow of a doubt,
I’m free of the abuser.
 
I’m an enigmatic designer of these empty white walls.
One morning I had a vision that my children and I
were on the Pacific Ocean, in California, surfing.
Their smiles helped me draw
the most stunning paint,
Which stands in the tall and large wall
of this microscopic living room.
I’ve created the most attractive moments
in the scene of a fantasyland,
Then choose to fly and swim somewhere in Malibu,
Having breakfast in a bar full of mythical dancers.
I, their mother,
sang with Celine Dion, “ The Power of Love”
Our smiles got wider. Our bodies got slimmer.
We’re having fun.
 
I’m a mysterious painter of chapped ceilings,
Carefully patching up each little hole
with tiny purple make-believe unicorns,
Expending the imagination of my little one,
writing her favorite story.
 
Cassidy is a character, a fantasy, a divine beauty,
She was created with much love,
not too long after losing Marylyn.
She’s a leader, a good one for sure.
When it’s time to go downstairs to start the day,
she’s the one going first,
Then we have to follow her,
checking our silent footsteps.
Sometimes she stops and looks back at us
Confirming that we’re there.
Her smile is pure love.
Makes her feel powerful by being our leader.
We reward her leadership by playing the classic gameplay, “ hide and seek”
She’s always the winner, of course.
We have no place to hide in our home,
we imagine that we’re hiding in the clouds.
Our laughs reach the wide-open skies,
creating the most attractive background music
in our unchained little world.
 
My oldest daughter, Giorgia,
is the funniest person alongside us.
We reward her sense of humor
by throwing pillows in her fluffy grey bed,
Creating a magic moment of harmony and laughter.
There aren’t closets in her bedroom,
yet, we imagine being the best closet organizers:
her clothes folded in colors and quality,
On the floor, on top of her nightstand,
inside the nonexistent drawers.
 
My only son, Julio,
is a smart, handsome, caring, good listener,
and peacemaker in our family of four.
He gives the most beautiful speeches to his sisters,
He gives the best hugs and offers help when needed.
We reward his reasoning and sweetness with
his favorite dinner from “ Vespucci”
Chicken Parmigiana with side penne and salad.
We share his food with hungry blackbirds
standing on the tarnished wood porch.
We imagine that these blackbirds
are lost, dead souls,
Coming across the cemetery
facing our rental home.
 
We’re living the happiest life moments,
An untold story.
 
©️Ana Toma
April 09, 2022
Cheshire, CT

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