Not only masculinity, but also the social violence….
Written by Raimonda Moisiu
The role of Albanian women in our society has changed significantly in the recent decades. Women and girls have many more opportunities and face different challenges. They have already taken other roles beyond the typical role of traditional family.They have been educated and graduated in various fields, starting their careers and have been made progress in their independence. Many people from different nations have different views, based on women’s rights, independence, choice of career, family relations and society.The countries with developed democracy and respectively democratic consolidated society, are giving to the women more civil rights, treating them equally with men. Albanian women, who have achieved great intellectual stature and professional life, a kind of shinning of their career, social -economic and political one, in government, industry, sports, and the media have become a familiar sight. It is a novelty, a notaccepted one, but it is absolute necessity for the brightness of daily living and ensure the future of themselves and their own children. In a rapidly, it is changing and increasing social problems, apparently, and yet, it appears that there is no clear public understanding of the realities of women’s and girls’ lives in this country. Their personal adequacy is extremely critical. The hopes and aspirations as an accepted part of life are limited, while today’s standards speak for more difficulty in playing the roles of wife, mother, career woman and the experience is much wider in general. Family is the interest, not of interest. Family values are essential for moral existences and career women is affecting the next generations. This forward step to the independence of women was increasing, but also it’s under their control. Albanian women today still face discrimination in the form of the inequality income, the notion of professionalism as women, and the playing field is not level, but neither is gender bias as institutionalized as it once was. But, it arises the question and dilemma; What is happening to the working women and housewives for their families and children, their roles in family and society, spiritual confusion, contempt masculine, psychological and physicalviolence, that is perpetrated against them, between a sense of prurient sexual servitude and sexual abuse, being shame, being guilty and not guilty, beating up to the their murderous and massacreting them, firstly by their husbands and other men in the family or the men of their lives, and then by social violence outside the walls of the house which proliferates in various forms by masculine attitude of some career women. It doesn’t matter how much power the career will be giving to this category, above all they must protect primarily-female and family values. These issues are essential, not only for our fragile society, but also for the policy which makes the “contract” with them. As a female figure it’s frightening me the high percentage of women nominated by entering into political parties and in their electoral lists. Why? – You can ask me. Because of no one talks about their feminile delicacy. Do they want to convert them to “men” as they have done with some women who have a long time in policy and governance? Do you think this is an aspect of social violence, don’t you?
The election campaign has started in our country, so do the Albanian-Americans of post-communism have the mind and eyes spiritually, where our dearest people live and where is the land of our ancestors. According to the previous campaigns it is saying about the percentage of women, who will be representing in local and central government, later. If all rejoice at this “finding” just to satisfy the European criteria, I am captured by sadness. Do they even want to convert that female percentage into the “male”, acting like males, smoking cigarette, even up to two packs a day, by imitating of the ordinary and banal jargon as men do. If you are picturing for a moment, the images of disfigured of Prime Minister and some of his ministers – and the shouting cynical shrill as “horse whinny” ordinary threats, borrowed by the bulevardesk jargon, that means to invite those poor wome to clash, acting rude and browed like them, dressing trousers like men, etc. Perhaps, the “table” that our politicians of masculine Parliament, our masculine government and under the masculine mentality have prepared, invating those poor women, keeping occupied just they enter in the “bread of the table” that resembles to the desk full of men and women, where just the men talk and women go after them in the same way. Is that social violenceperpetrated by men against their own, but at the same time is the violence committed by these women’s own political career to the harsh reality of women and girls in the country, isn’t it?! This social “masculine”violence of the women in power have also noticed by Albanian President Mr. Bamir Topi, stating: “Women in Parliament do not differ from men. Women in the Assembly should be representative of a moderate language and not to imitate men’s stiff dialogue. ”
This social violence of everyday of the albanian life, it has the inevitable effects of a giant gap diffusion, mixing, and legislator gap unification of visual media and publicity of two extremes: “the brilliance of their career life in the family, political or government, advocating their clothes, their make –up, their entertainment and feminity, their masculine language is displayed openly to the public-and the conflict with harsh reality lack of sensitivity that they are part of this world and society, the conditions in which the majority of Albanian women live, in poverty, ignorance, lack of education, physical and psychologicalviolence, their alienation of certain moments, taking the revenge till they end up as killers. I do not justify their crime, but I wolud like bringing to the attention, that all those come as a result of social violence in various forms of restraint that is exercised against them. Feminist movement of our society should start from personal reflection of career women in policy, government and power, we should operate in the veins of the women’s world with energy, soft and sweet behavior, loving, cordially and warmly, ethical culture intellectual and civilization, education and the moulding of their ability, providing the needs and the fulfilling of their mission better and more potential of moral and family values, their new future and more effective, avoiding the risk that is born of social violence and creating a worthy place of the women in our society. Battered women psychologically and physically, need support, advocacy and mobilization to create public relations and show the importance of moral values of their family, nation, education, maturity of thought, action and behavior , enthusiasm and optimism, to reach the goal seriously, and their active participation in social -economic life of thecountry, in a practical way.We need to be realistic, because of the social violence that is exercised by men of their lives and conduct by their own masculine behaviour inside of the same gender, it should not go far enough to force them seeking their freedom and independence, through violent forms. We are more than confident that both categories of the women have their definite role that is delegated by women only women and no one else can fulfill it better, with their efforts in terms of life for life. According to me, I think the woman is a necessary element, not necessarily enter into competition with people on a social level, but it is necessary to accomplish the mission, that nature has assigned to it, earlier. However my main intellectual and citizen concern , as a wife, mother, grandmother, teacher and writer, that we must be aware of negative effects, consequences of socialviolence within the feminist movement and making their own world controlled by women and Albanian society. This mobilization strengthens the confidence of the minds of female identity, the next generation, respect family values and social integrity, reinforces the base of admired understanding of freedom, human love,-but achieving those , we should remove by ourself the harsh reality notonly the masculinity, but also the social violence.
Published by ALBANIAN DAILY NEWS!