Here we go – It is in two parts / Nutan Sarawagi & K.Radhakrishnan

WHEN WE SWAPPED OUR GENDERS FOR A DAY!!!!!

Being a woman one has more virtues than vices and being a man one has more vices than virtues. I have to grudgingly admit this fact. What if one day I suddenly turned in to a woman physically for a day and Nutan Sarawagi , my friend and partner in collaborative poems turns in to a man!!. Well, I discussed this outrageous proposal with Nutan Sarawagi and what followed is a collaborative poem on humorous lines. As far as humor is concerned , it is the vices that makes one laugh and virtues are considered serious matter. As I could not find much vices in being a female, I could not write much on this but Nutan Sarawagi could touch up on all the aspects of a man’s life and that is what makes this poem an interesting read.

Here we go……………………………..It is in two parts.

 

K. RADHAKRISHNAN

Part 1

I am definitely a man in a man’s body,

But living for a day as woman is my fantasy,

I am so curious about how women live,

In this male dominated society, how they survive.

If my soul enters a woman’s body for a day,

How well in that day I live to make hay,

It will surely be much fun and play,

If lady luck choose to make it my way.

But a day wouldn’t be enough to learn,

About womanly ways, as my gender takes turn,

Living in an unfamiliar body with strange parts,

With fragile body and softer heart.

I have to learn, unlearn and relearn,

If for a day my life to take a female turn,

Am thinking about how best it could be done,

Will it be so enchanting and so much fun?

I have to learn to walk with grace,

A thing or two about how to make up my face,

Find a way with words to sweet talk,

To make myself admired by men folk.

I have to undergo some strange experiences,

The thoughts about it makes me curious,

Will my female day be of a day of menstruation?

Will I face that strange situation?

Wouldn’t I be freaked out on seeing a mirror?

If my face changed all of a sudden, wouldn’t it be a horror?

But the mirror told me I am the prettiest of all girls,

Wow!!, my bald head has full of hair with curls!!!

My flabby body has turned a lot curvy,

Rosy cheeks formed my face that was topsy turvy,

I am now a beautiful girl,sweet, shy and nervy,

Oh, I have turned in to an angel to others envy.

The the question is what to wear?

I have to choose them with care,

How to bind those curly hair?

To be maiden gorgeous and fair.

A cute dress with heels,

Wow!! how nice it feels,

How much to hide and how much to reveal,

To be called a woman ideal.

Can I go with a top and skirt,

Lots of boys out there to flirt,

Should I dress up to be more overt?

Or I have to be more alert?

Alas!! I don’t know how to select a fitting bra,

Or to choose the best facial crème from a spa,

Am I falling in to a trap, ha ha,

To be perfect women without flaw.

How much make up should I apply?

In my face, lips and eyes,

May be I should get some blush,

To make a man’s heartbeats rush.

 

Nutan Sarawagi 

Yes….☝️🙆‍♂️

I am the man 🤦‍♂️who loves to wait 🙇‍♂️

to open the door to a woman’s gait

for I am the gentleman whose holding the doors🚪

as I wait for the lady to get indoors

although I am secretly wanting to slam the door

smiling at her every request , hating she’s actually a pest 🐜

getting her a drink never to spill on her dress 👗

to actually spill when she’s looking her best 👘

fumbling with the right words to say

to make her smile anytime in her prettiest way 💏

never a sharp word , anger to show 🏋️‍♀️

When I am dying to just come to blows 🤼‍♂️

in her every word pretending to just bow 🙇‍♂️

for she’s sharper than any tongue I know 💇‍♀️

when she gets to the bottom in it rung to throw 🤽‍♀️

Cowering in her waiting to go

afraid I am of her

to even BE 🤫

to never hurt HER 🙏

just let her be ME 😷

even if she breaks my heart 💔

I mop her in my tears 😭

to never ever fake crocodile tears😹

for she’s here for me , I am not for her

as she goes flirting , to hurt me in her

pretending to love me , more than her

but I know that for me , she is the best girl 🤰

for I miss her when she’s not there to swirl 💃

my life in her little finger to twirl 🕺

For without her life is so dull 🤦‍♂️

at every corner a surprise for me 🙍‍♂️

without her no life for me 😪

I threaten to jump of the cliff 

every time she goes off in miff 😤

with her life is just amiss ..no tiffs 😡

 

Part 2

RADHAKRISHNAN:-

Now I am all dressed up and ready,

For dating some guys steady,

Wiggling my hips and letting out a giggle,

Some newly acquired assets to jiggle.

With all those accessories, I am now a flame,

I have discarded a quality called ‘shame’,

If anything went wrong, I can always blame,

The men and then carry on with my game.

I am now a beauteous lively dame,

Though I am a man in a female frame,

With feminine charm, grace and fame,

Bold and beautiful, none can tame.

I decided to saunter down the mall,

Just to see any guys are there for me to fall,

Oh, those creepy creatures did crawl,

To impress me, they did brawl.

I wanted to buy all the dresses in the mall,

Then fool a guy to pay for all,

Feigning that I have forgotten to bring my purse,

To my delight, the suckers were ever ready to disburse.

I bought a Victoria Secret lingerie,

“ You will look stunning in that” I heard him say,

Now I have that hour glass figure,

I can fool men and be a gold digger.

I took a selfie and posted ii in FACEBOOK,

I got million likes for my look,

All of them from horny blokes,

I pity them for they know not I was a hoax.

Nature’s call and I just can’t avoid it,

I would use that ladies toilet,

I looked at the mirror to apply some lipstick,

Then suddenly I started to shriek.

The day is over and game is over,

The man that I was returned to my horror,

Some women shrieked that a man was there,

To enter a ladies loo, how did he dare.

Then they thrashed me with brook sticks,

My ribs were broken by a karate kick,

I got my punishment for turning in to a chick,

The party is over and I am licking my wounds.

 

NUTAN:-

Dress like a man …no ways 🧟‍♂️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish I could be a man , wear anything

dress like a man

no shoes to match , no clothes to go

just walk to and fro , without a thought for more

confusing myself to dress anymore

to find myself confused even more

…no more

Social networking not for me 🤳🧟‍♂️📇

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I was a man I wouldn’t have to hide

To answer my notifications forever to ride

For her inbox is forever full , mine empty

as the bride bejewelled with friend requests

a hundred more every day to line

Who wants to see my profile

Never answering mine

pursued by no one

Going out to a party 🕺Are you insane ?🚶‍♂️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I was a man I wouldn’t have to dress

in minutes for a party as my wife in me tests

my patience together to never let me rest

for she is always dressed and I am underdressed

Why so much fuss is made to dress

I would rather wait for her to undress

As we wait for each other waiting to address

each other in loves sweet nothings

….dear please rest

Testing colours ..not for me 💅

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish I was a man

no colours to tell

the cat 🐱 to bell 🛎

For I am able to see them

without seeing them

No red and green colours

for me

just grays and blacks

in it to dress me

No longer to long

no pinks for me

as a baby to love

the blue on me

No rainbows hues

to paint for me

no girly colours to dress in me

just be

As my wife asks which colour suits her

confused I look away from her

she says is that red better than orange

to me all colours look ..just foreign

I see only primary shades ..colours to take

in their safe refuge to make no mistake

but she’s so angry for I don’t know

which colour matches the lipstick 💄

of her hair colour shade

I wonder what it would be

if I was the man she wanted me to be

….not me 😢

No 👎Packing for me please …having it easy 💆‍♂️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish I was a man to never go packing

for my wife always plans what clothes to fit in

shoes that match , which toothbrush to lay in

my tracks , in case I go jogging

she thinks of everything

if it rains an umbrella to take

not to forget the raincoat

and the coats to stack

For me …

it’s just to snap the suitcase , so it doesn’t break

under her itinerary , she just loves to take

as I wait for the holiday season to break

for she’s my wife I just have to smile

for in my love it’s the sun that shines in her eyes

all the love from heaven in her love comes alive

Mirror mirror on the wall 🕴

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish I was a man

for when I look in the mirror

it never cuts me to size

For unlike her , I only see my positive side

As I smile it looks at me

reflecting back my smile

My body to look

and feel king sized

So supple in it I ripple

as flowing as the river

Feeling so alive

I am the man

my ego never a crescent

blown to its full size

even the moon smiles

The sun in its shade

Never wanting to hide

For when I was a woman

I always regretted my life

Not wanting to look at the mirror

Especially by back side

Trying to hide my wrinkles

Wondering if they would hide , the years of turmoil

In it to never strike , wishing back my life

If I was a man I would never have to go shopping 🙅‍♂️🛒🛍

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For my wife checks everything

before she buys anything new

A man doesn’t really care

so long it has its name on it

he gives everything its due

Never questioning anything

he sticks to the old things he knew

Exasperated she stops

Don’t you buy anything

I know what to stock

In your hurriedness to waste a lot

Let me call my girlfriend

As she talks non stop

Discussing everything

Except what we bought

Even the colour of the bottle

Has to match its bottle top

along with the internet review

to check if the ingredients are really true

the amount 250 ml . really worth it’s due

Then she opens it too

to smell the fragrance

Sometimes

even breaking the seal

Pretending

she doesn’t know what she does

As the store man glares she looks the other way

nothing new

I am a man

I just take a walk

Not wanting to talk

Enough ! I really don’t care

Life just stop

Going out shopping with her

ain’t no cakewalk !

Assessing a woman , anyway I can !👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was a woman , I looked at another woman

In measures not new , measuring her up to my standards

Looking away in disgust , if only she knew

As a man , I simply just turn my head

Undressing her in my mind

not interested , to me a woman is just a woman

She may be of any kind , I don’t really mind

Boy ! NO haircut for me !💇🏿‍♂️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish I was a man

Overrated a women hairdresser , I cannot withstand

My haircut now just costs a mere pittance

I don’t have the patience to stand

As my wife goes cutting her hair those beautiful strands

A fortune it costs and she comes looking no different , than she did before

what was it , it makes me wonder , I just fail to understand

Sleeping with her ! 😴🛌

~~~~~~~

I wish I was a man

For she complains I am always snoring

I can never hear her

She can always hear her me

how

I fail to understand

Taking away my space , she steals the pillow

from under my head , as my head hangs out

And then says I take her space

Getting Ready for work
……..
I wish I was a man
I get ready in a jiffy
but she invariably makes me wait
With her as I go to my office always late
Never apologising always criticising
It’s me who always has to take

Desktop
………
A mans table may not be organised
But it’s the best he can
A womans on the other hand
as neat as the last one night stand
Hiding in its throes
the files that pile in desktops screens
Unable to withstand
The weight in which they stand
as men keep their files arranged
In files to clean
better than most women can.

Copyright:- Nutan Sarawagi and K.Radhakrishnan

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