Poems by Smruti Ranjan Mohanty

Poem by Smruti Ranjan Mohanty

 

LOVER

My love!
you have never betrayed me
never you can
how can you betray someone you love
how can you part with someone
deep inside, a part of your body and soul

my love!
i am as i was
be happy where you are
you never need to prove your love
it is never defined in terms of
gain, pleasure and pain
love reduced to a relationship
becomes a bondage, loses its essence and independence, finds itself in chains
bound by a thread of
expectations and reciprocation
in an air of patterned behaviour
interactions, duties and obligations
love hardly finds its space

my love!
marriage hardly fulfils love
rather it let it silently die
so demanding a relationship
hardly let love remain as it is
compels it to change and
undergo metamorphosis to make
hundreds of compromises just to
live a life and keep pace
with its changing needs
what remains is not love
but something else
never love and loving
may be living and enduring

my love!
you left me to complete me and my love
to live in me, to keep the lover
in me alive forever
with your heart and soul
taking care of your love
do i need anything more?
doesn’t matter with whom
physically you are
till you are with me at a different level
where nothing but love blazes with flair

love is larger than life
its beauties, betrayals and hypocrisies
i am living a life in love
how spellbinding is that waiting
to have a glimpse of yours
how fascinating is that craving to see you, feel you and to be with you once more
how different and fulfilling it is
from living a life together
i know what it means
remaining a lover forever

©smrutiranjan 3.9.2018

 

SOMETHING I LOOK AT-100

Short of words to explain the man he was,
my teacher and father late Raj kishore Mohanty

happy and contented he was
no looking back, no regrets
for what he had not done
what he had not accomplished
no wishes except a desire
for a calm and peaceful end
to his serene and beautiful life

no complaint against life
nothing against anyone
a life surrendered at the feet of his guru
a life lived for his students
for their wellbeing and betterment

he loved his students
loved going miles on his bicycle
to see his students smile, to solve
their problems, to be with them
when they are in need

never ran after any other identity
a teacher he was, a born teacher
that was the only identity he had
for him there was hardly any difference
between his own kids and
the students he took care
a son had to elevate himself to
the level of a student to know
what his father actually was

for him veda is mathematics
and mathematics is veda
life is death in motion
and death is life in motion
and one can live and enjoy both
if one has the will to do so

till the very end
lived life to the full
spreading the messages of his guru
working for the triumph of humanity
inspiring others to live and let live
enjoyed his death while in sleep
passed to the other side of consciousness
with head high and a smile on lips
proving his own saying
one can enjoy death the way
one enjoys life
if the surrender is complete

©smrutiranjan 5.9.2018

 

I AM A WIDOW

do i need to be told
what to do, what not to
how should i look
what to wear, what to eat
how to interact and conduct
in this heartless world of yours

for you
he was just another man
a friend in the fair weather
you have lost just a friend
do you know what have i lost?
i have lost my whole world
with him gone my wishes
my passions to live a life
but i am breathing
breathing for the sake of his love
to keep him alive

have you ever fathomed
a woman’s love for her husband
no man has ever been able to do so
and you are just another of the same species
you can never understand
what he meant to me
i don’t even expect you to understand
let me live with my tears
they are exclusively mine
let them drench me with all his colours
even at the cost of the world, its wealth and splendour i can hardly part with it, part with my emotions, my feelings
half of my heart and soul

do you doubt my integrity?
if at this age if you need a woman
what is the wrong if i go for another man
if a man can marry after the death of his wife
why can’t a woman
is this world only for men
their whims and caprices?

don’t think
i will be a prey to someone’s passion
there is none in this world
who stands equal to my man
at least for me
he is head and shoulder above others
men should understand
women better read them, their body language and unusual showers of love
change the way you think
or else you will only burn yourself

and you
being a woman
i expected you to stand by
but you only added to my misery
made my wounds fresh and bleed more
do you know what is in store for you in future?
if you are not with me
never come to my life add to my sorrow
make my bleeding heart bleed more

people
i call my own
from you, my expectations were too high
you never came forward
when i needed you the most
you never solved my problems
you can only end up adding a few more
can you refrain from giving me advice
and let me live on my own?

leave me alone
i know how to stand on my legs and withstand life, its ebb and flow tide
neither i need your sympathy, compassion nor i have an ear to what you say
i know my rights and
understand my obligations
to do justice to my role as a mother
i will never be in black and white
reincarnate with all my colours
and will never allow my kids to suffer
if at all i am to make a compromise between love and life
i will choose the latter
with my heart always beating for my love

©smrutiranjan 15.8.2018

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