Poems by Siti Ruqaiyah HASHIM

Poems by Siti Ruqaiyah HASHIM



I traced
Roads and lanes travelled
The spots we sat down
The walks by the lake side
Also by the boulevard

I recalled your laughters and the jokes
And the dimple rarely seen on a man’s face
And the brooding in your eyes

Thank you
For being my son
For calling me mummy
And always stood by me till you are a man

My son
I am missing you



In your anger
Towards you big brother
Don’t forget
When you fell from the staircase
And mum was not around at that time
It was on your big brother’s lap
You were laid on
And he called you non stop
Making you conscious all the time
On the way to hospital
That saved your life

That’s the only sibling you have
So be patient with him
When your mum is no longer around

Had not been easy for us unlike other’s
Due to games played by dirty hands
Wanting to be gods
We had gone through them
With patience, perseverance
And plenty of deep wounds till now

So don’t forget that in his rage
your big brother
Loves you very much
Because you are all he has



According to mum’s stories
When I was small
I always cry
Everytime dad left us to go to war
I was the one
Who like to sit on his lap
Clinging his neck till I fell asleep
Everytime he came back from the war fronts

According to mum again
Everyday I will wait for him at the door
When he returned to the jungle

‘Daddy shot bandits. Bang! Bang! Bang!’
That’s his answers
Everytime I asked where did he go

Leaving me so often
Because I didn’t like him to go
I love him too much

Maybe that’s why I hate wars!

My dad is still alive
Such long live he has
But war made him a stranger to us
Always having difficulty in trusting people
Manipulating circumstances and people
He wants to win all the times
And sometimes
Testing everybody’s patience

My dad is a very wounded man actually
Due to war
Fighting a man named Chin Peng

Note: Chin Peng was the leader of revolutionary Bintang Tiga, a wing of Communist Party of
Malaya during the armed struggle of Emergency 1948-



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